Disconnecting…

Disconnecting…

For the last week and a half, I’ve disconnected myself from social media for more than just one reason.  I haven’t scrolled through my Instagram feed or posted any pictures.  I haven’t scrolled through my Twitter or tweeted anything. I’ve used Facebook for the sole purpose of communicating to friends/family through Messenger because my phone doesn’t get service while I’m at work. Despite using Messenger, I haven’t scrolled through my Facebook feed at all.

I’ve disconnected myself in attempt to avoid whatever drama is occurring on social media.  I’ve disconnected myself in attempt to focus on myself rather than focusing on what everyone else is doing and what I might be missing out on.  I’ve disconnected myself in attempt to find myself instead of looking through a screen about all the “what if’s” or “what could be’s”.

The reality of my life right now is that I’m like a lost puppy trying to find its way back home.  I don’t know which way I’m headed and there’s no map for me to even pick up to redirect me. I currently have a job that makes me a miserable person for 5 out of 7 days of the week.  That is the sole culprit for all my stress and anxiety.  Because I work every weekend (both Saturday and Sunday), I am unable to go on adventures like all the people on Instagram get to go on.  I miss out on fun weekend adventures like that.  I don’t look forward to weekends like 95% of Americans do because weekends mean work for me.  I’ve disconnected myself from social media because I can’t let myself continue to compare my current life to those I see on social media.  It’s just not mentally healthy for me. It took me a long time to realize that some of my stress, anxiety, and sadness were stemming from social media, especially Instagram, so now I have realized it I have disconnected myself.

The majority of pictures on social media are “happy pictures” – pictures of people smiling, pictures of people overlooking scenic landscapes, pictures of people out adventuring with a loved one or their loyal four-legged pup, the list goes on.  My Instagram feed tends to portray the good in people’s lives.  I only get to see the good in these stranger’s I follow on Instagram.  Maybe behind that “happy picture” there’s stress and anxiety that’s hidden.  I’m not saying that I’m mad at people for posting “happy pictures” because there are days when I’m genuinely excited to see people having a good time and living a good life.  I’m simply stating that at this point in  my life, social media is causing me more sadness than happiness.   And for that reason, I have disconnected myself.

My current job situation causes me enough sadness and anxiety.  The additional sadness and anxiety caused by social media is just unnecessary at this time in my life.  It’s becoming unhealthy for me.  So, to clarify, I am indeed happy for anyone that gets to share their memories, experiences, and adventures on social media but I just need to be disconnected for now for my own mental health.  Instagram followers, Twitter followers, and Facebook friends:  I hope you’ll understand that I’m not ignoring you or purposefully not liking your posts, I just need to disconnect.

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