Everyday I remind myself that in September my life will change. I will have opportunities for a better future. I will be mentored by wise professors. I will be surrounded by individuals all striving for the same professional impact for their communities. I will be working towards an ambition that has restlessly stirred in my heart for over a year now.
These months leading up to the start of grad school have challenged me. I’ve measured my worth by a part-time job that leaves me feeling defeated, degraded, and stuck. I’ve sacrificed time with family, Josh, and clients because my availability for my true passions in life have been limited. I interact with ungrateful, ignorant, impatient customers everyday. I wish they knew that my future is much brighter than me standing behind a cash register. They only see me as a girl who is stuck working at a minimum wage job. If they only knew where I will be in less than 4 months.
I worked at a wine festival a few weekends ago and it was the most fun I’ve had working in a long, long time. It was chaotic, it was stressful, it was exhausting, but it was wonderful compared to the monotony of retail. I felt like I was contributing to society in an enjoyable way (because let’s be honest, who doesn’t enjoy wine?!).
I haven’t logged my runs in my Believe journal in over 2 weeks. I think my mileage has hovered somewhere between 25-30 miles. I’ve only been able to get in one speed workout per week (my goal when I made my training plan had been two); however, I feel like my speed workouts have been strong. Luckily this spring I decided to only compete in shorter races (my longest being a half-marathon next month). I’m giving myself kudos for not signing up for an ultra. It would’ve been stressful trying to squeeze in necessary runs to train for a race of that distance. I run at all times of day – early mornings, mid-day, or late afternoons – whenever I can fit it in.
Josh & I have been counting down the days until our vacation in 17 days. SEVENTEEN DAYS. This vacation will be a reset for both of our lives. It will be the biggest adventure of our relationship thus far. It will be time spent together that we’ve needed for months now. I can’t wait to board a plane with him for his first plane ride ever. I can’t wait until he sets eyes on the mountains of Colorado for the first time. I can’t wait to explore new places with him. Most importantly, I can’t wait to make memories with him that will last us a lifetime.
I’ve been following OTs and OT students on Instagram and blogs and it just makes me so excited for the future. I know grad school will be hard. I know the sacrifices I’ve made these past few months to save up a little extra money will be menial when I get a true career. I know that my life will be better once grad school starts even though it will surely be more stressful.
Life is a challenge but when you surround yourself with supportive, empowering, loving people the challenges are manageable. You find ways to overcome challenges with such people. You learn about yourself. You learn about the people who love you. You learn that life can be made better when you stand by your choices, when you look out for yourself, and when every ounce of your body is determined to turn away from your burdens and strive for your aspirations.